Have I doomed my daughter to a life of anxiety? Has my worrying transferred over to her? She will be alright, right? These are some of my concerns lately and it really has me bothered. Sitting here now typing this I have this nervous feeling in my chest.
My daughter has started kindergarten this year. Moved to a “real” school with other grades and classrooms other than just her pre-k class like last year. She did ok the first week, I think coasting on the excitement of wearing new clothes and being a “big girl”, but that did not last.
That first weekend she woke up Saturday and Sunday morning EARLY and was crying and worrying about this, or that, or some other thing. Saying she didn’t want to go to school anymore and she was done. We tried to pick out what the real problem was through her complaints but it was not clear. She did the same thing every day the following (2nd) week.
In the midst of the second week she shared that a lunch monitor was making her eat all her food and it was making her stomach hurt. We want her to learn to speak up for herself so we tasked her with letting the monitor know that she was full and didn’t want to eat anymore. She told us the next day she tried that, and told the monitor it made her stomach hurt, but the staff told her “well then stay home if your stomach hurts.”
Needless to say, my husband ended up calling her teacher to find out what was going on and if there were any other issues she’s noticed. She shared that our daughter is very smart, and a good student, but she does get emotional and nervous. She shared that she had cried a few times about things. They discussed the idea of our daughter bringing a lunch so that it is food she really likes.
We weren’t going grocery shopping until the weekend so my daughter had to endure the school lunches and the lunch monitor for the rest of the week. Apparently talking to her teacher helped though because the monitor wasn’t making her eat all her food anymore, according to my daughter.
We tried to find fun things each day for my daughter to look forward to, to help with her nervousness / anxiety. Their was a fun multicultural event after school one day, and my sister and nephew happened to be in town this week as well so she had something to look forward to after school. She still struggled somewhat, but by Friday she told me she had a good day. They had a new art station which “is always a good thing” according to her.
Over the weekend things were better. Only a mention here or there about how she gets nervous. I thought things were finally looking up. Well this morning, the start of the 3rd week, and she claimed she was too sick and didn’t want to sneeze on the other kids. My 5 year old was trying the oldest trick in the book already! I told her she was fine and to just keep tissues nearby. “We can’t have tissues at rug time.” “Yes you can sweetie. I said so. Get some beforehand so you have them with you.”
The look of defeat on her face. It quickly turned to sadness and tears. “I don’t want to go to school. I’m too nervous.” My poor girl. I just don’t know what to do. Will she get used to it? Is she going to be a nervous wreck like me for the rest of her life? How do I help her?
Does anybody have any suggestions to help us help my daughter cope with her anxiety? Anything that worked for your with your kids? I want her to enjoy school. Especially since its only kindergarten and its supposed to be FUN and easy. Please share your tips and tricks with me down in the comment section. I am determined to help my daughter enjoy school and be happy. I want my happy daughter back.
Thanks for reading.
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